Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Picking Sides

In the inevitable "us" versus "them" of family life, it never occurred to me that the "us" would one day be construed as me and my kids versus the "them" of the Mr. and his kids.  I suppose I naively assumed "us" = the parents, "them" =  the kids. Silly me.

I understand that as parents we are naturally protective and defensive of our offspring; I've had years to get used to my boys' quirks and know their inner workings like my own (sometimes better). Same goes for the Mr. -- he knows his kids and loves them for exactly who they are.

What's painful and surprising, though, is a recent episode where one of my kids and one of his were in conflict. Mine was annoyed by his and wanted me to engineer a quick fix. I spoke to the Mr., who rightly noted that my son tends to be a control freak and that no fix was needed. Fighters, take your corners.

There we were, us vs. them. I cannot tell you how sad it made me.

We are inching back toward being a team, but knowing that we've picked sides once before, I worry that it will happen again.

Until next time, let's choose happy.

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