A beauty tip!

I've been meaning to share this nugget of information -- after much deliberating, I bought the Clarisonic Mia sonic facial brush (www.clarisonic.com). I don't usually indulge in these things; I still have my hair curlers from high school (believe me, they're old).

My hair stylist had been raving about how great the Clarisonic was for her and her mom. And then the Wall Street Journal did an article about it (12/27/11, www.wsj.com) and so I thought, happy new year to me and my face, went to my local drug store and bought one.

I have to say, it's pretty cool. I use it only once a day but my pores do look smaller, as promised. Apparently sonic brushes vibrate super fast, which shakes the dirt loose easier. Gross but whatever, it seems to be working.

This is not a paid endorsement for Clarisonic or the WSJ, just passing along a worthwhile tip.

A new "normal"

Every now and then, when I update a friend on my life's goings-on, I realize that what I do and manage everyday, while not exceptional, is a very full plate. Examples:

1. One of my boys remains raging angry at me, so much so that he can barely be polite (except when he wants money, of course). It's not any one thing that I did to set him off, so there's no easy fix. I guess he'll just stay angry until he decides not to be anymore. It hurts.

2. Another of my sons feels caught like a deer in the headlights re: the behavior of his twin toward me and the ongoing negative verbal sewage that his dad says about me. "I just want everybody to get along and be nice. Why can't you do that?" I wish it were so easy. But you can only be accommodating so long before you're just a putz, I told him. I'm done being a putz.

3. My little dude finally fessed up -- he doesn't want to go to boarding school. But, he hasn't told his dad. I get it -- it was hard for me to talk to his dad and I'm an adult, how can I expect my kids to?

4. Starting the hunt for alternative housing for David, my autistic 24-year old stepson. Talked to one well-regarded agency. The fellow there told me that they were just preparing for a new resident, someone who'd been on the waiting list since 1999. Ug.

5. Work. I don't wanna ... but thank goodness for the flexibility and diversion.

So, while the Mr. and I trudge along through this bleary February weather, I look forward to a yet unplanned getaway (a prior trip has been cancelled; not a good time to go away) and to resolution of the various issues weighing me down. On the upside, spring has to be on its way, right? And I have great friends.

My new normal isn't exactly normal, but it's all mine!

Keep trying to choose happy.

Difficulties

This is a difficult time, hence the scarcity of posts. Everyone is healthy, but I'm fighting my sons' father, which is never fun. He has unilaterally decided not only to try to send my youngest to boarding school, but to do so without my consent. Today I learned that he submitted applications to those schools without supplying any information about me -- effectively erasing me from my son's life as his mother. To say that I am outraged is an understatement.

This brings things to a whole new level. Thank goodness for the Mr., who is a rock and tremendous support.

The worse part of all this -- how it will play out for my sons. Heartbreaking.

Rotten

This week is shaping up to be a real dog. Nasty-gram e-mails from the ex, ongoing fight to keep my youngest home next year instead of his father's plan to ship him off to boarding school (more time for his golf and dating, right?), and it's finals week for the three high school boys.

And it's cold, windy and snowing. 

And did I mention that work is piling up cuz I've been so distracted by the battle against boarding school?

Ug. How many pounds of chocolate (dark with less than 65% cocoa, per The Plan!) and how many bottles of vino do you think I'll go through in the next few days! :)

Working so very hard to choose happy. How's your week going?

OMG!

To those who have left comments on blog items which went unanswered, my sincere apologies. I just realized that comments are sent to my gmail account, which, until about 3 minutes ago, I literally never checked.

So, keep the comments coming and I promise to be more responsive!

The Gloves are Off.... And Gobo

I am about as conflict-averse a person as you'll ever meet. Which is probably why my first marriage lasted as long as it did - he always was "right" because voicing my opinion was too exhausting and, as I learned over time, not worth the fight.

However, the ex has brought a fight to my feet and it's clear he doesn't like that I'm not just caving in. But, when he brings my boys into it, I will fight like a Mama Lion.

That said, this whole standing-up-for-myself is new territory, it's exhausting and takes too much mental energy.  People who go looking for fights are sick. Thank goodness that the Mr. is so supportive. I'll provide updates on this whole sad/sick saga, but for now, just know that I'm still here, but engaged in battle.

In other news: still living and loving The Plan -- I've kept the weight off for weeks now. Anytime I slip, I just revert back to a "proven" menu. Also, discovered Gobo root at a local Asian market:

Gobo, or burdock, root is traditionally valued for its antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, and antioxidant properties. It is highly esteemed as a blood detoxifier, a diuretic, and a topical remedy for maladies of the skin, including psoriasis and acne.

Learn more at www.wisegeek.com

Ciao for now and choose happy in 2012.

Out with the Old

New Year's Eve is upon us and I'm ready for a new calendar year, how about you? 2011 brought more than it's share of family-related drama and I, for one, am crossing fingers for a much quieter 2012.

Each year I make the same resolution -- to be more patient. I will say that over time, I've gotten better. But that might just be a maturation, aging-related change! What about you, any resolutions?

Re: The Plan (www.neighborhoodholistic.org), up until this week I was sticking with the general eating guidelines. I veered WAY off course this week -- just too many leftovers around the house (I hate waste). So, I'll jump back on the bandwagon after tomorrow. It really has made a consistent difference in my weight.

For all of you out there, best wishes for the happiest of new years. Sending hopes for peace and health. 

In 2012, let's all choose happy.

Tis the Season

Friends,

I sit here, in my bed, alone (the Mr. is traveling with his kids this week) and wee bit tipsy (blame Costco and the Bailey's Irish Cream at the front door!), so very grateful for all that enriches my life. My sons, my amazing husband, my friends and family, and the vast history of experience that inhabit me. My job, our relative financial security and the good health and happiness I get to enjoy every day.

As I prepare to serve chili, sub sandwiches, spiked cider and cookies to many of my nearest and dearest local friends and family, I want to take this moment to say "Thank you" for being in my life.

From the most sincere and loving place in my heart --

J.

holiday hustle

The past few weeks have been beyond busy. Since the surreal (but wonderfully relaxing) Thanksgiving, both of my cars have been totaled. Happily, all people are fine, but the cars are kaput. One was an older minivan my kids drove, the other was my nicer and newer sedan. Both are gone, baby, gone. So, I've been playing phone tag with various insurance agents, testing new vehicles and girding to lay out some big bucks for new rides. Oy. Not surprisingly, the Mr. has been supportive and wonderful in helping me coordinate all the various moving parts.

And, tensions are running high as we wait for college acceptances. So far, one boy is 2/5, the other has one bird in the hand and is awaiting word from several others.

Winter break is around the corner - yeehaw. Taking my guys skiing/snowboarding for what I hope will be some real quality time together. Yes, I'll miss the Mr., but it's important for me and my dudes to share some alone time, too (plus, the Mr. doesn't ski).

If I don't get back to the blog before the holidays hit, best wishes to everyone! Hope you find lots of happy this season.

Just call me Eeyore

That's right, the gloomy, down-trodden donkey best describes me these past few days. After a wonderfully restful and thoroughly enjoyable Thanksgiving holiday, I came home to an avalanche of crap. Sorry to be so crass, but there's no other way to put it.

Upside, the anxiety has resulted in a few extra lost lbs. And yes, the kids are fine. But between the lousy weather, a car wreck (again, all are ok) and general nastiness, lies and negativity being hurled around and about me by my own personal Voldemort, we're otherwise healthy and lovable.

Trying to go with the flow but not doing too well. Fingers crossed that karma will work it's magic quickly and that tomorrow will be a happier day.

My 'Plan' for Thanksgiving

Three weeks after starting on Lyn-Genet Recitas' "The Plan," I am seven pounds lighter. I haven't had a slice of bread or any dairy in that time, and ate red meat only once. It's been primarily veggies, veggies and seafood.

BUT, I've enjoyed dark chocolate, vino, goat cheese and feta (love my cheeses!). And I haven't had to exercise like a maniac to see progress.

All in all, I'd say that 'The Plan' is a way of eating that I can stick to. Sure, I miss enjoying the savory chili with cheese my family had for dinner last night, but I don't miss the depressing flab that gathered around my middle. I'd love to indulge in a big ol' bowl of mashed potatoes, but I also love being able to easily button my jeans and once again wear clothes that had been gathering dust in my closet.

So, with Thanksgiving upon us, I am thankful for learning how to eat to manage my weight at this point in life. I am so thankful for my wonderful Mr., my beautiful boys and my stepkids. My friends, of course, and my supportive, loving family. I am endlessly grateful that those nearest and dearest to me are healthy and financially secure.

And to those of you who read my blog, thank you. It's so nice knowing that you're out there.

Taking off for a few days, so until next time ... choose happy.

Designer Duds and Diet Dilemmas

I love the idea of a great bargain. So, whenever I hear about one of those discount designer shopping websites, I sign up. Everyday, Designer Apparel.com (www.designerapparel.com) sends me alerts about beautiful clothes and accessories that are marked down. But here's the thing, I have no idea how I would actually look in any of these clothes. I don't try on designer apparel at the store which I suppose would be pretty critical to knowing what size I should order and whether or not I even like how the designer's clothes look on me.

Maybe it's just the idea that those things are somehow within reach. Thoughts?

Re: The Plan, I'm still sticking with it. I've hit a pretty significant plateau and am thinking it might be time to just induge in a big ol' plate of nachos and throw back a few beers. One day at a time....

Until next time, choose happy.

The Food Burglars

For a change, this post is not about me and my issues/struggles with food. Nope, it's about how, after a nutritionally balanced and usually hearty meal, the five boys (plus one lovable husband) in my house still gorge themselves on evening chow.

Example: last night's dinner was poached chicken on pasta with parmesan and roasted butternut squash. We finished eating at about 7:30ish. I came downstairs this morning and found:

- 2 empty salsa jars in recycling
- 1 empty bag of corn chips
- empty cookie jar (had just been re-filled with an entire box)
- empty 1/2 gallon ice cream container

And that's just the stuff that made it to the garbage/recycling. I'm afraid to see what got left behind in the basement.

However, I can report that the Honey Crisp apples, cut-up strawberries and baby carrots were exactly where I left them. :)

So it goes, and we choose happy.....

A brief pause

After another raucus dinner (pulled pork - yum), I needed to get away from my 6 men. I asked for 15 minutes to myself. Within 5 minutes there was a knock at the door.

Son: Mom, Mom are you in there?
Me: no answer
Son: Mom are you in there? Can you just answer a quick question?
Me: Yes.
Son: Do ketchup and mustard mixed together make relish?

My answer was "No" but what I was thinking was "Are you kidding me?"

Ah, parenthood.

Plateaus

It's been a few days so a quick update on The Plan (www.neighborhoodholistic.com) and my experience after 14 days ...

The good news is, I've definitely lost about 5 pounds. The not as great news is that it's the same 5 pounds I lost during week 1. Per Lyn-Genet, it's not uncommon to plateau during week 2 but it sure makes it a helluva lot harder to stay on the plan. That said, having to report in daily with weight and questions makes it hard to cheat; I feel very accountable. This coming week I start my own menu planning. Crossing fingers that a few more lbs. will drop off.

Otherwise, it's been a week of bouncing back from a whole lot of upset & drama. I think I've hit my annual limit for taking s***. I'd like to say that I managed my emotions with grace, but that would be a whopper of a lie. I blew my stack, cried, sulked and even did a little stomping. A GNO (girls' night out) last night helped blow off the residual ickyness.  And today I sent chocolate chip cookies to my big boy at college; that made me feel better somehow.

More to come .... stay happy.

Thud

That big noise you just heard may be me falling off of The Plan wagon. After a listless workout this morning, I feel thisclose to wolfing down a big ol' turkey with cheese on sourdough. Ohhhh..... just writing it is making my mouth water.

I'm trying to hold steady, though. Please send willpower my way!

Balancing and the Scale

Those of you near NY's Harlem, I envy you.  You have access to Lyn-Genet Recita's Neighborhood Holistic health center (www.neighborhoodholistic.com). Recita's eating program, The Plan, has been amazing thus far. I've lost 5.5 pounds in one week without feeling deprived. I could comfortably socialize -- yes, I drank wine! -- and order off the menu at an Italian restaurant. Brilliance!


I have to say that it's been a long time since I've felt sexy, but having that weight come off, without extra workouts, has been a huge boost. Yes, I eat a lot of greens, but tonight's dinner also included chicken breast and butternut squash with butter and cinnamon. Tasty. It's a relief to actually know what foods I can enjoy without bloating up.


In other news, trying to find the balance between my needs and those of the ones I love. Quality relationships are hard to find, nurturing them takes work. 


Until next time, choose happy.

Am I Having a Mid-Life Crisis?

Laying in bed last night, I realized that in the past several months I have:
- lightened my hair twice
- straightened my hair
- flipped repeated through Allure magazine to find out the best anti-aging products
- started using Latisse (www.latisse.com) to enhance my eyelashes
- considered a breast lift
- ruminated about the possibility of chucking my career to attempt writing full-time
- dedicated myself to The Plan to drop unwanted extra lbs.

If I were a guy and had created a similar list, the only thing missing would be a new sports car -- clear signs of the much-maligned mid-life crisis.

This attention to how I look is a recent evolution for me; I was always the woman wearing sweat pants and no makeup. Of course, I'd gussy up to go out, but I could pretty much get away with little attention to face and hair for a long time. No longer.

I'm still sorting out how I feel about all of this -- is it just a normal progression that comes with aging? Late-blooming vanity run amuck? Much ado about nothing?

Re: the Plan, all is well. Switched things up a little with meals but it didn't seem to impact my weight LOSS! Even snuck in a few sips of red wine last night. It's sooo nice to really fit into my jeans. Five days, nearly 5 pounds - I'll take it!

Onward and downward

Hallelujah! The scale moved and in the right direction for a change! Added chicken for dinner last night and got rice with goat cheese the night before, so it's no longer totally a bird food diet. Lyn-Genet and her able assistant Maggie are wonderfully responsive to questions, which is greatly appreciated. The Mr. said I look slimmer; I can't really see it but I do love that he said it. He's a smart man.

In other news ... one of my high school senior sons is flip-flopping like a hotcake on the griddle re: what kind of colleges he wants to apply to. It's exhausting and I'm trying to take a big step back and let him guide this ship from here on out.

Had a little chat with my stepson David who, as you may recall, is very social but doesn't really understand the boundaries of privacy. Complicated, because (despite this blog) I'm a pretty private person. David will tell anyone and everyone what's happening in our home -- when we go out, medical issues, new purchases, what I'm making for dinner. It's disconcerting when people I don't know repeat things about my life that they've learned through David. So, I told David that what happens in our home is only for those who live in it to know about. Fingers crossed that he "gets" it.

Until tomorrow, choose happy.

Day 2

Second day on The Plan started with a whimper. My weight was a little up. When I reported in to Lyn-Genet (www.lyn-genet.com), she asked if I'd had enough water on day 1. Wow, can she call it. I was, in fact, a little shy of my recommended water intake. Per Lyn-Genet, for every two glasses of water you don't drink, you hold onto 1/2 pound of weight.  So, in addition to following The Plan for day 2 (although I did eat an extra 1/2 apple for snack), I pounded the water. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

More college apps sent today and the stress levels are starting to recede, thankfully. A few more to go and then we sit and wait for acceptance letters. Cuz that won't be stressful at all.

Until tomorrow, choose happy.