A love story

It's often surprising to me how often people say, "Wow, you must really love him" when they learn of how my life has been up-ended by marriage.

Generally, my first thought is, "Well, duh, of course I love him. Why else would I marry him?"

But there's truth in the meaning behind their questions. From the outside looking in, what's in it for me? I owned a great home that my kids grew up in and which held many wonderful memories; I sold it at the bottom of the market. I lived and worked without air conditioning but with the ongoing companionship of a series of tradesmen for one of the hottest summers on record. I imposed upon my children the need to move from the only home they'd ever known to a still unfinished place with my new husband and two of his kids who live with us full-time. And I'm a dog-owner now. Wow, indeed.

Whatever expectations we bring into our marriages, there's no way to really know how it's going to flow. We hope for the best and that love and patience will carry the day. A friend, who's youngest child just turned 30, found me crying one Sunday morning on the corner. I was overwhelmed with all that I'd undertaken. "I wondered how it was going for you," she said. "It's just not easy. The first five years were a constant battle in my marriage. It was one of the hardest things I've ever lived through -- figuring out how to deal with each other's kids." This from a woman who has twice battled cancer.

So, there's love and there's hope. And for most of us, lots of wine!

Until next time, choose happy.