Back in my post-divorce dating days, I remember being introduced to an intriguing fellow by a mutual friend. We drank martinis at a chic watering hole in the city and seemed to have a growing interest in each other.
The next day, I asked my buddy what his friend's story was. "Oh, he doesn't date women with kids." Flat out, no room for discussion. For the first time ever, it occurred to me that my beautiful, wonderful, loving, funny kids might be considered undesirable "baggage" to someone else.
In a causal survey of friends and acquaintances, I've repeatedly found that those of us with more than 2 kids, or kids with special needs, end up with others in the same boat. You'd think that bringing a rowdy foursome to the table might be a deal-breaker, but to someone else with an equal or greater number of kids, four is nothing. One dear friend has a sister with two special needs kids; she married a guy who also has special needs kids. What might seem overwhelming to some is a regular day to someone who's already been there, done that.
The "baggage" related to kids that I have found is when it comes to age. If his are in high school or older and hers are still doing shadow boxes and field tripping to the pumpkin patch, that can be a problem. I, for one, have zero interest in reading Toad and Frog ever again.
Open to comments on this one.
Until next time, choose happy.
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